I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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