Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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