even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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