is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
