dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
