No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
