She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
