I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
