its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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