if you like me you must not know who I am
it was like his penis was on wheels.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
