oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
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