I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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