I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
