is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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