I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Randomize
