You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
