Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
