where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
