uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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