Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
