Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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