i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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