Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
