is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I am mentally ready for anal.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
