It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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