what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
