I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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