How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize