I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize