Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
