I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
