I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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