Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
