I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
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