Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
