im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
