Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
