bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
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Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
