spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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