is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
