got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
