What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
