Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
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