I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
If I had your ass I would rule the world
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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