I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
