you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize