i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Ladies don't puke and tell
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
