Your mouth is God's brothel.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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