Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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