she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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