Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Redeem this text for a blowjob
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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