Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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