Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
