I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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