I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
