So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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