A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize