I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
