Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
