obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
